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Statin Island

They told me that my heart was an old-timer,
And wasn’t beating blissfully within,
It was a mere device, it had no primer -
First you take the statins: then you’re not furred in.

I don’t like the hiccup and the spasm,
I don’t like grenades without a pin:
A healthy man’s breath can’t be ectoplasm –
First you take the statins: then you’re not furred in.

I’d really like to live forever, doctor,
I love my body and my drinking and my food –
But I want my heart to keep its ticker-tock-tuh,
I need them, I need them, I need them,
I need them for good -

And I thank you for the items you’ve prescribed me:
The Lipitor, and more, the pint of gin
And I hope you’ll do repeats (if you survive me) –
First you take the statins: then you’re not furred in.

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