Almost Certainly

 

My name is Philip Hammond

I’ve only half a brain

And when the half’s examined

It’s clinically insane

 

I have one foot to tender

It’s jammed inside my gob

It’s been out on a bender

And it does a lousy job

 

My hands are full of fingers

But they meddle with the thumbs

The memory still lingers

Of laughing with my chums

 

And all of us wear blue dye

And all our hearts are woad

We know our mis-shaped crew by

The way each squats, a toad

 

We’re useless at discussion

Our arguments are lame

Our words are mere percussion

Ain’t it all a fucking shame

 

Almost certainly we’re useless

At whatever work we do

We’re wastrels, weird and juiceless

And we haven’t got a clue

 

Click here for a Guardian article

 

 

 

7 December 2017

“It is almost certainly the case that by increasing participation in the workforce, including far higher levels of participation by marginal groups and very high levels of engagement in the workforce, for example of disabled people – something we should be extremely proud of – may have had an impact on overall productivity measurements” (Philip Hammond).


POETRY KIT WEBRING

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