Muscle

I’m wet and weedy, concave chest,

I’m out of breath and off the pace,

My ribcage shows beneath my vest,

Charles Atlas kicks sand in my face –

What I would do, though sickly-pale,

Is nationalise all mail and rail.

 

My hair is thin, I’m out of puff,

My eyes are scarlet-red and rheumy,

My pulse-rate reading’s rather rough,

The doctor’s notes on me are gloomy –

What I would like, though weak of wrist,

Is to be internationalist.

 

I have no biceps I can touch,

My skin is slack, and dirty beige,

My food would grace a rabbit-hutch,

Say ‘exercise’, I disengage –

What I would love, though weak as pox,

Is to be rid of Liam Fox.

 

My blood is white, my thoughts are red,

My teeth are loose, my heart is pink,

Though I am of the walking dead,

And cannot swim (I simply sink),

Though men with muscle toss the caber,

I’m hobbling in to vote for Labour.

 

 

 

Click here for a link to the medical press

 

 

 

 

 

25 May 2017

A medical academic, Dr Michael Price of Brunel University, has found that weaker men tend to support socialist policies, says the ‘i’ newspaper. His findings were published in the journal Evolution and Human Behaviour. To be fair, the Mail seems to have reported the same thing in 2013, after an Aarhus University (Denmark) research paper, although their take was that ‘Men who are strong are more likely to take a right-wing stance’.


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