Smershed

I’ll have a new Martini

Shaken please not stirred

I’d go and catch the general

But oh my sight is blurred

 

I’ll have a slug of whisky

A Scottish drink I think

I’d go and catch the general

But my liver’s on the blink

 

I’ll have a gin and tonic (large)

I’m sure that it’s your shout

I’d go and catch the general

But oh my word, this gout

 

I’ll have a pint of vodka

Before the barman closes

I’d go and catch the general

But I have a cirrhosis

 

I’ll have a double-brandy

I’ll drink it from the crystal

I’d go and catch the general but

I’m half-cock with my pistol

 

I’ll have a half of heavy

I’d like to be compliant

I’d go and catch the general

But I think she got the pint

 

Yes I’ll have a final snifter

A brew some sauce a breezer

I’d go and catch the general

But I suffer from am-

 

 

Click here for the Bond/gin story in The Independent

 

Click here for the coup story in The Independent

 

 

 

 

 

24 September 2015

Britain’s alcohol consumption (gin especially) has been linked by The Grocer magazine to the greater quantity of it put away by the most recent Bond (Daniel Craig). The Ministry of Defence said it would be unable to locate the general who advocated a coup against Corbyn, because it did not have the right intelligence resources.


POETRY KIT WEBRING

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