Backstop? Not what Britain needs,
But pass my hi-speed Pleasure Beads.
Sad to see the tariff walls:
Charge my buzzing Kegel Balls.
Euro-split? Not cock-a-hoop:
But my butt plug has a finger loop.
Gove may slash and Boris stab. It’s
Time to start my Rampant Rabbits.
Barnier and Donald Tusk?
A massage wand is not so brusque.
Customs Union? I feel rough.
Bring my safe word. Lock that cuff.
Withdrawal hasn’t any charm.
May I please use your Nipple Balm?
Max-fac, Jack? I’ll see you later:
Here’s my Compact Masturbator.
No more welcome in Bavaria –
Lubricate my Schengen Area.
Brexit: I am far from thrilled. Oh
Fetch my strapless strap-on dildo.