Peel me a grape
Fit me a cat-suit, a shooter
Mine is a dangerous breed
Dress me as Cratchit or Pooter
Saddle my favourite Steed
Here’s pepper and cheese, spice up the cauli
Bring me the geek with a bowler and brolly
Bring me some pearls and a oneset
Fetch me some vicious shampoo
Let me roar into the sunset
Summon up Eeyore, Magoo
Brexit is merely adjustable spannering
I’m from the forge that gave us George Mainwaring
I’m Martha and Minnie and Ena
I’m Stevens (Remains Of The Day)
Pronto, I’m Tonto, though meaner
I’m Purdey, I’m Mrs. Bouquet
I’m deputy head girl at good old St Trinian’s
Don’t laugh at my gaggle of idiot minions
Yes dress me in lurex, by Jingo
Let me show them I’m Top Of The Form
If I am a Beatle, I’m Ringo
I’m Queen Bee, and you are the swarm
I have no idols, I cut my own figure
But bring me Roy Rogers, his finger on Trigger
Click here for a Telegraph article
