The Weekly Poem

I Shall Vote Leave because

I shall vote Leave because Remain has one more syllable than Stay

I shall vote Leave because Churchill’s mother was American

I shall vote Leave because Boris is the Dulux dog

I shall vote Leave because I like kippers

I shall vote Leave because Jemini scored nul points

I shall vote Leave because St. George was never Turkish

I shall vote Leave because I cannot speak Rumanian

I shall vote Leave because Gisela Stuart is German

I shall vote Leave because there is too much football on television anyway

I shall vote Leave because I drive a battle bus

I shall vote Leave because I do not care for George Galloway

Apologies, I shall vote Leave because I do care for George Galloway

And David Icke

I shall vote Leave because I wish to punish my grandchildren

I shall vote Leave because I do not like garlic

I shall vote Leave because the Isle of Thanet is sinking under the weight of white vans

I shall vote Leave because I do not want Geordies coming over here

I shall vote Leave because there is an old English saying, honi soit qui mal y pense

I shall vote Leave because my father died in battle at Rorke’s Drift

And

I shall vote Leave because I have an O level in Economics

I shall vote Leave because I have no time for the Scots, who should go back where they came from

I shall vote Leave because we have Trident

I shall vote Leave because Jacob Rees-Mogg has been on Have I Got News For You? Ha ha Priceless

I shall vote Leave because I have a drawbridge

I shall vote Leave because it is time we hoisted our own petard

I shall vote Leave because I breed odd-shaped bananas

I shall vote Leave because bigot rhymes with spigot

I shall vote Leave because I do not want there to be 100 seconds a minute

I shall vote Leave because Donald Trump has the right idea about fencing

I shall vote Leave because Ulster shall not

I shall vote Leave because I hope to win the raffle

I shall vote Leave because I have little time to leave, having ruptured my spleen

I shall vote Leave because I wish to Remain