The Conservatives do not like UKIP.
UKIP on the other hand do not like Europe.
So the Conservatives must like Europe, except that they don’t.
Because although they do like it, their supporters don’t.
And their supporters are voting against Europe.
So they are saying they will stay in while they want to get out.
If it were not for the profit.
So they say there isn’t any profit.
Labour says there is no profit, and that the Conservatives are running scared.
Although Labour is running scared of the Conservatives.
And also of the SNP.
The SNP want to get out of the United Kingdom but stay in Europe.
But the Conservatives say Scotland cannot go into Europe, as it is already in Europe, unless the Conservatives pull out, in which case Scotland cannot be in Europe, or go into it, and must stay in the United Kingdom, but receive more powers.
If UKIP votes are high at the next election, they will let in Labour in the North and the Conservatives in the South.
Unless they let in Labour in the South and the Conservatives in the North.
The Conservatives do not like the Liberal Democrats.
The Liberal Democrats do not like the Conservatives.
Labour does not like the Liberal Democrats, although the Liberal Democrats do quite like Labour.
If the Liberal Democrat votes are high at the next election, there will be the sound of men in white coats and the squeal of airborne pigs.
Fairness says we must mention the Greens.
It is no longer necessary to be able to untie knots.
But a badge in PR is a sensible investment.
Click here for a Telegraph article
Click here for a Guardian article
Click here to buy Bill’s poetry collection Ringers
Click here to follow Bill’s New Statesman research