Rising to the poisoned rostrum,
Holding this, his severed head,
Nick Clegg heard the latest nostrum:
You can come back from the dead.
Though the experts, very sage
Declare no sign of brain or heart,
You may die upon the stage,
But still return to make a start.
Though your goose has been well-hung,
And stuffed, and burned, and also scoffed,
After all the knells are rung,
It may once more fly aloft.
Dead as very yellow dodo,
You may rise, a perfect moron,
Fresh and keen as Sam and Frodo
Off to conquer Mordor’s Sauron.
You may cancel Uni. Fees!
Help the poor and heal the sick!
Hear the message, pretty please,
Everyone agrees with Nick!
Such thoughts. He heard them cheer and cheer
Because he’d kept the wolves at bay.
Can this be true (he wipes a tear)?
All together: Not today.
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