Out Damn'd Spot
I thought it was the hormones
Raging from within
I thought I’d need a sawbones
To cut away my skin –
But now I know the acne
That hit my face so hard
Were no more than the hackneyed
Hack-words of the bard.
I spent my teen years leaking
And missed out on the thrill
Of girls who were not speaking
When I wore Clearasil
Why was I red-raw, pimply?
I felt each day like death
But now I know it simply
Meant they’d read Macbeth.
The girls that ducked my sonar
Flounced off because they knew
The Two Gents From Verona,
The Taming Of The Shrew –
I thought I was an amateur
With an angry, spotty face –
But it was those pentameters
That stopped them giving chase
Dear God, I really trust you’ll
Take Shakespeare by the nose
Revenge me for the pustules
And burn his Folios –
And curse the girls, defiant,
Who filled my heart with grit
Because they’d read the giant
Of spotless English Lit.
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