The Jammy Dodger
I am the varlet pimpernel
With wads of surplus cash
Who likes to sound a silent knell
Before a massive crash –
I do not pay my way, of course.
I am the rider, not the horse.
You may hear distant snickery –
That’s me. I’m on a scam.
But when they catch my trickery
You won’t know who I am,
Because of course there is a law
That’s for the rich, and not the poor.
I’m not a third class amateur:
I steal and thieve with style.
I am a hedge fund manager,
And filled with bile and guile.
‘A sketchy fella,’ so they said –
Invisible but not ill-fed.
Wish to make our country thrive?
Well, let us have our perqs.
We business-folk keep you alive:
That’s how the whole thing works.
And whether it is bust or boom
The best of it’s, the law keeps schtum.
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A rich Sussex commuter, caught after evading over £42,000 in fares, has paid the sum, and been given anonymity.