The Weekly Poem

The Jammy Dodger

I am the varlet pimpernel

With wads of surplus cash

Who likes to sound a silent knell

Before a massive crash –

I do not pay my way, of course.

I am the rider, not the horse.

You may hear distant snickery –

That’s me. I’m on a scam.

But when they catch my trickery

You won’t know who I am,

Because of course there is a law

That’s for the rich, and not the poor.

I’m not a third class amateur:

I steal and thieve with style.

I am a hedge fund manager,

And filled with bile and guile.

‘A sketchy fella,’ so they said –

Invisible but not ill-fed.

Wish to make our country thrive?

Well, let us have our perqs.

We business-folk keep you alive:

That’s how the whole thing works.

And whether it is bust or boom

The best of it’s, the law keeps schtum.

A rich Sussex commuter, caught after evading over £42,000 in fares, has paid the sum, and been given anonymity.