Sign up online for the floggers,
Weed out the smokers of dope,
Bring back the birch, e-stablish a church,
But best of all, call for the rope.
Bring back the practice of stringing,
Bring back the trip through the trap;
The Sixties were never for swinging,
Let’s hear the vertebrae snap.
Log on to watch them go dangle,
And click to uncrick every neck:
Or here’s a new angle, let them all strangle.
Let’s have a bit of respec’.
Sign up for internet slaughter,
Move your mouse over an axe:
Bring back the draw and the quarter,
Bring back the thumbscrews and racks.
Never mind lethal injection,
Let’s watch Old Sparky online:
Overturn any objection.
Start a petition. E-sign.
Let’s have a guillotine vote.
Vote them off with the red button.
Give us the gallows, allow us to gloat:
Let them hang for a lamb or for mutton.
The people have power: a motto
That e-mobs alone understand:
Link the whole thing up to Lotto.
Democracy! Isn’t it grand?