It couldn't have happened without me:
I was the third man, you see;
You haven't a reason to doubt me:
This is the land of the three.
I was the agent, the flywheel, the cog.
Please buy a case of my autobiog.
Never mind Hamlet and Claudius;
I was the star of the show.
It may make you feel pretty nauseous,
But I was their get-up-and-go.
Other accounts are pure fib: they're erroneous.
I was the wise guy; I was Polonius.
They were mere amateur cadgers,
Assistants who filled me with diesel;
They were an old pair of badgers.
I was the stoat and the weasel.
They were graffiti, I was a Renoir.
Please buy my marvellous paperback memoir.
I was there from the beginning,
When the big beasts evolved from the swamp:
I turned their heads and set all of them spinning;
I gave them circumstance, pomp.
Who was their pterosaur, who was their raptor?
Please read each utterly fabulous chapter.
Read the Independent article here