Nannied Goats
Because I had a nanny
Because I had a nurse
I nuzzle nooks and crannies
My manner is perverse
They let the au pair raise me
They let my mum outsource me
So it should hardly faze me
That wives wish to divorce me
Because I had another
To push me in the park
I think of finding Mother
I think that love's a lark
By strangers, I was faddled
By hired handlers fed
So now I am an adult
Adultery's in-bred
My sister had a minder
Who pushed her in her pram
She's now an eff-and-blinder
And doesn't give a damn
She eats young men for dinner
She robs the ATMs
Buys crack to keep her thinner
And deals in stolen gems
Each lucky little blighter
Who had a proper mum
Is infinitely brighter
And moral as they come
And while I'm doomed to hanker
For lovers by the three
There's one a merchant banker
And the other an MP
