Hunt the Salmon
I am a salmon, sleek and pink,
I swim the deep, I swim the drink,
My gills are sharp, my fins are keen,
I can’t hear what you really mean.
I like to leap the stream and tide,
Do squeeze my scales, they are my pride:
I am as bright as any button,
Although I’ve gone completely mutton.
I count up every bank and bed,
My eyeballs straining in my head –
But can’t hear doctors, I’m afraid –
I need a stronger hearing aid.
My sonar’s poor, my radar’s shot,
A backbone’s what I haven’t got,
I may be smuggest of the smugs,
But nothing enters through my lugs.
Charterhouse was my great shoal:
It farmed me, and removed my soul –
I’m perfect for the household chef,
But WHAT WAS THAT? I’m very deaf.